And yet, writers will devise the most ridiculous excuses to avoid the writing chair; because it's hard, because we're worried we'll fail, because we're stuck, because we're feeling absolutely drained of energy, because we don't want to kill off a character, because we know how ugly this revision is going to be, or maybe because we just want to see how difficult we can make life for ourselves before we actually -- out of sheer desperation and a now truly terrifying deadline -- must finally turn to the task at hand.
To that end, I thought I'd share some of the ridiculous and one-hundred percent true things that I or my friends (some of whom are best-selling authors with VERY SERIOUS DEADLINES - you know who you are) -- get up to, for some reason, when we're trying to avoid the very thing we love the best.
I like to call this list:
Top Ten Asinine Ways to Avoid Writing Your Book
|1. Now is the perfect time to do laundry, renovate, clean, |
paint, reorganize and redecorate the house.
|2. Research the obtainment of a pet canary.|
|3. Window-shop for cottage in Scottish Highlands you will never afford.|
|4. Plan a party, baby shower, or large scale event |
that will require weeks of coordination, Or...
|5. "I'll host Thanksgiving!"|
|6. Adopt a new dog.|
|7. Go to the grocery store because, you tell your partner,|
"Can't you see there's nothing to eat in the fridge?!"
|8. Invite your best friends for the weekend because "It's been toooooo long!"|
|9. Yard work. Because, you know, you've got friends and family coming.|
|10. Write a new blog post, maybe about procrastination, because that is productive. |
It is not procrastination.
These may not seem extreme to you, but that's okay, don't worry. We're always striving to best our last worst procrastination. I hope you'll share your stories about your best worst procrastination techniques - because I'm always looking to add to the ol' arsenal.
Signe Pike is the author of Faery Tale: One Woman's Search for Enchantment in a Modern World. She lives in Charleston, SC where she is currently *not* at work on a historical novel. Follow her on Facebook or visit her website at www.signepike.com